a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
