This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
