i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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