party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
