I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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