my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
