Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize