He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
my sisters under your porch take her home
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
