508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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