hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
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I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
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Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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