Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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