i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
