After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
