I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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