I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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