check it out our google latitudes are spooning
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
