To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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