How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
