ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
where am i from again
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Randomize
