I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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