Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize