the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
