Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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