I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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