Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
