my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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