Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
