wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
