# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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