my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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