**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Randomize
