I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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