i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
