Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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