So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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