dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Two words: nipple clamps
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