I'm eating all of the evidence.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
apparently the secret to your success is patron
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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