one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
