wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
