did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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