listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
