I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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