weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
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don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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