doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
