I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
