Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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