he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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