Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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