Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize