I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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