The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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