is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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