If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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