walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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