I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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