Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
