See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
