Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
