So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
