fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize