with your own penis?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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