There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
