No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
