she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
