He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
