I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
