spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
