We got so high we made milksteak
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
