Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
