So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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