i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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