i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
